Is It Anxiety, Is It Stress, Or Just a World Where You Don't Fit In?

I've just finished a fascinating new book all about Introversion and how difficult it is for introverts to succeed in a world where extroversion is King. It got me thinking - and then writing.

Extroverts outnumber introverts in the world by a significant percentage - possibly as many as 3 out of 4 people are extroverts.

I'm one of the minority, an introvert, so I'm pretty clued up on how difficult that makes it to navigate through life in a world where the extroverts seem to be making all the rules, calling all the shots, and deciding what's in the best interests of all of us.

This morning I was reading a report about a young boy with severe emotional problems - he would rather go hungry than talk to someone. Anyone who has suffered from panic attacks, or agoraphobia, will know just how difficult the simple task of supermarket shopping can be and be able to relate to that young man.

There's another aspect to introversion - High Sensitivity, as defined by American psychologist Elaine N. Aron. Now this sensitivity that Elaine Aron writes about isn't emotional sensitivity. It isn't about being sad or happy, or angry or blissful. It's about physiological sensitivity. The highly sensitive are people who suffer physically and mentally when there is too much going on for their bodies to handle.

For example a highly sensitive person (HSP) can get overwhelmed when there is too much noise or just too many people.

About 1 in 5 people fall into the HSP category.

Now because we extroverts & HSPs tend to be quiet, thoughtful individuals, we, and our ideas, are frequently overlooked in a world where loudness is thought to be the same as wisdom.

It's tough being in that quiet minority. It's even tougher when you think it's a medical problem - as I did. It gets even worse when your doctor agrees it's a medical problem and then introduces you to the dark, emotion-suppressing world of tranquilizers and anti-depressants. This is a world you can get trapped in because these drugs sap your will and your will is what you need to get yourself out of the hole you are in.

You get medication when you have a medical problem - not when you are just the way you were meant to be. And so the medical solution teaches you that you are ill. This is the lie that is still perpetuated even 20 years after I found my way out of that minefield.

But the medical view is generally that you need fixing.

My view is that you are OK just the way you are. And the minute you accept that the anxiety starts to drop away.

Yes it's difficult, and if you are very lost you need someone who knows the way to guide you out of the terrifying jungle that is life as you know it. A jungle where to survive each day is a miracle and evening brings the blessed relief that another day is over.

Acceptance of you just as you are is the starting point. Once you recognise that even though you don't seem to fit in with everyone else; once you realise that it's okay to prefer reading to mindless social chitchat; once you realise that it's okay to stay home and watch a good film with a friend rather than go to a party; once you realise that it's okay to want every conversation to be meaningful rather than inane; then you can start to make the changes you want to make to have the life you want.

A life free from anxiety about not fitting in - a life free from worry about not being normal.

Just remember that it's the extroverts who have created the mess the world is in today.

You are perfectly normal, embrace your differences and be proud to be just exactly who you are.

Michael J. Hadfield MBSCH is a registered clinical hypnotherapist, with many years' experience in the treatment of stress, anxiety, and other psychological problems. If this article interested you then visit www.hypnosisiseasy.com. Providing quality counselling articles, hynotherapy writings and other mind help resources online.