Recently I was at a 5 day psychotherapy conference. Milling around and getting to know 400 hundred other people was both enjoyable (when I made a good connection with a stranger) but also fraught with moments of self doubt. How am I being experienced by others? How come I am not being seen as I thought I came across? Damn, I thought I had overcome this shyness? Why does my friend seem to get more positive attention than me? What is this discrepancy between the down-to-earth, warm, fun-loving person I am perceived as by my friends as opposed to the slightly aloof and shy person I may come across as to strangers?
Since it was a psychotherapy conference and being a trainee therapist I made good use of the situation to learn something by raising this issue with others in a group session. Feedback I got from an experienced therapist who works with the body was that I gave off mixed signals. Whilst the vocal part of me expresses the desire to connect with people, my core is collapsed and part of my body is holding back. With him guiding me whilst I sat in a chair, I practiced a core lift where I really felt my sitting bones making contact with the chair and felt my upper half/chest area rising up and out as I pushed up from my sitting bones. I was supporting myself more from the core. It felt unfamiliar and so a little scary but observers said they felt closer to me as I looked at them from this stance.
The 'core', the 'core'... I started chewing on this cud that has come up again and again and I still feel like I don't really know exactly what is meant by the word 'core'. Is this indicative of the problem? So back home again I decided to investigate some more and found a movement practitioner that works with alignment, focusing on the Bartenieff principles and Laban. I attended a couple of sessions.
In one we focused on shape-flow and moving from a horizontal, vertical and sagittal perspective. As I lay on my back on the floor with my knees bent and feet planted firmly on the floor, I breathed in and paid attention to my chest and stomach as well as upper back and lower back expanding, my spine elongating from lower back to head and my pelvis and shoulder area moving out sideways. I became aware of the 3D effect of my breathing.
I then used this shape-flow awareness when I focused on a technique to ensure the pelvis is aligned and directed down and forward rather than pulling back. I breathed in and out using the shape-flow awareness technique and as I lay on my back and breathed out I very slightly shifted my pelvis forward and down. This is a subtle movement and not at all like a yoga pose where you curl your pelvis up and in. When I first stood up and walked after practicing this the first time I was pleasantly surprised. I felt simultaneously like my legs were pushing down and I was being pushed up. I felt springy and grounded at the same time.
I have been practicing at home every day for the last couple of months. People that know me well say I am coming across as more 'available'. I feel more solid and like I have a wider base. This allows me to take more emotional risks in interpersonal situations without feeling like my world will cave in if the other person does not support me. This is probably what people mean by my being more available. No doubt I have further to travel on this path towards inner security and I am in no way an expert on the subject. Alexander technique, somatic movement... so much more to experiment with and yet I wanted to share what I had learned so far dear reader as maybe it will help you too.
My interest is in becoming more 'me' and sharing what I have learned and the skills I have to help others become more 'them'. I am an astrological/psychological life coach with a post graduate diploma in gestalt psychotherapy and over 20 year's experience reading charts. I blog about whatever holds my energy and curiosity in this moment and whilst it might be related to astrology it could relate to bodywork, nutrition, relationships or whatever else excites me. I do not claim to be an expert on all I write but I speak from my own truth and hope my voice may reach out and nudge you further along your path, in some way. So, if you would like to read me more, come follow me on my blog at http://earthskyspiritcoaching.wordpress.com/category/blog/, See you there!
Providing quality counselling articles, hynotherapy writings and other mind help resources online, counselling hypnotherapist and life coach in London.
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